Interesting but Sad

It was a bright but windy June Sunday afternoon as Denise and I walked down the drive to the churchyard and across to the north side graveyard where mum is buried. As the dogs explored the long grass between the graves bouncing along like fleeing antelope and believing that the noise of the wind through the grass would reveal itself to be a mouse, a vole or something else of interest, I arranged the handful of flowers in the now water filled vase, brushed the dirt and dust away from around the headstone and whispered a quiet “bye mum” as we headed for the footpath to the back of the graveyard.

Just as usual, I bent down and tore away the random tufts of grass around the old pair of headstones that always caught my eye, just in front of the Yew tree sitting almost isolated from the rest of the graves. It always fascinated me how the full sized headstone was butted up against what I guess is a footstone, and I always joked how “this must have been a short person”. Whilst there on my knees tearing at the small blades of dry grass that had worked their way between the two stones, I noticed the date 1881, “a hundred and twenty odd years this stone has been here” I said to Denise.

I’d never really looked at the inscription that close, why? I’m not sure, or maybe I had, but in my subconscious mind, as for the past few years I had called this “my adopted grave” maybe it was just a distraction I needed as I walked from mum’s grave, I miss my mum, she was the kindest woman I have ever known, and was stolen away from us so early, by Alzheimer’s, so much she could have helped us to enjoy these last few years, whatever, on this day I read out the inscription; “In memory of Loombe son of Henry J and Harriett E Fisk, who died January 28th 1881 aged 5 months”, how sad, I thought such a young baby and despite all the hardships of those times, it must have been devastating for a mother and father to lose someone so small, “remember those names so I can search the Internet when we get back”, I said to Denise, as we continued on our walk.

Later that evening I sat at the PC scanning through the half dozen emails in the “inbox”, adding the junk mail to an Outlook rule, that dropped as much as possible into the “deleted” folder, when I remembered that I was going to search for Loombe, I popped open the browser, and clicked the Otleyweb search link, and typed “Henry & Harriett Fisk 1881 Otley Suffolk” into the Google search engine and clicked Search, to my surprise first entry on the returned results was Harriet 1848. Clicking this link I was taken to a page that was part of a family tree, and there he was, “In September 1880 Loombe Fisk was born in Woodbridge. He died there in March 1881” Ah! I thought but he is buried in Otley?

Knowing how keen and passionate dad and Sheila (my sister) are about building our family tree, I decided to write a short email to the author of that web site just to let them know where Loombe was, I quickly bashed out the following:

 

Hi Valerie,

I was just taking flowers to my mothers grave this afternoon and tidying up her grave with the shears, as always on my way out of the grave yard I snipped around what I call my "adopted grave", its just a pair (one large and one small) of grave stones placed back to back slightly off line to any others almost on its own, probably why I'm drawn to it. Anyway as usual I quickly snipped away the long grass that gets left when the mower has been around, and I decided that I would see if I could trace the occupant Loombe Fisk just a young baby.

So anyway a quick query on Google for "Henry & Harriet Fisk 1881 Otley Suffolk" turned up your page as below.

I just thought that you may be interested to know that Loombe is buried in Otley church yard.

If you’r not aware of Otley you can see a map and some brief information on http://www.otleyweb.co.uk/

To locate the grave; walk down the church path, bear right where the path splits either side of the church, continue to the far end of the church by the tower and just to the right in front of one of the big Yew trees you will see Loombe's grave.

From your page:

http://indigo.ie/~stevenso/story/Harriet 1848.htm

In September 1880 Loombe Fisk was born in Woodbridge. He died there in March 1881.

Best regards,

Laurie Baker

Not really expecting a reply I hit the send button, and it was the next evening I received the following:

Dear Laurie,

I am in the Alps but picked up my emails. Thrilled by your find, wonder if you could pôssibly tqke q photo? We do not know if he was a boy or a girl?

Will write more when I return, too difficult on a foreign keyboard.

Valerie

Next day after a trip to the graveyard with the digital camera I replied with the following:

Valerie,

I'm pleased you were able to reply, I see what you mean about the keyboards :¬)

I have taken a couple of snaps of the stones and they can be seen here: http://www.otleyweb.co.uk/loombe.php you can click the images for the full size copies.

Sorry, the pictures are a bit big in Kb so may take a while to load, as you will see the back of the large stone is a bit worse for wear, and from the third picture you will see what I mean about him being out on his own.

I guess the reason for this is that over the years this side of the church yard, (once covered in graves) has been used as car/hearse access, but "he" yes he is a boy, is now getting company as the newer graves are moving forward on his left.

Best regards

Laurie.

The following month I heard back from Valerie with more detail:

Dear Laurie,

On going through my files of the Fisks I discovered the following from the great granddaughter of Henry and Harriet Fisk. She is the grandaughter of Loombe's sister Olive.

"Loombe"

"Where does that name come from? I have never heard his name spoken in the family. Poor little Loombe who died at less than a year old. My mother has told me of a converstion she had with Emily many years ago (Emily is Olive and Loombe's sister). Emily told her that when she was a little girl she was carrying a baby and dropped it (possibly in some water) and that the baby had died. If the baby was Loombe, Emily would have been about four years old at the time. How sad for the family and how sad for Emily to carry that memory through life."

So poor Loombe is even sadder than we thought.

Thought you might be interested.

Regards

Valerie

PS Must visit Otley when I am next over in East Anglia.

What a sad story, I speculated a bit, did some searches on Google and then sent this reply back to Valerie saying:

How sad, (I always feel sad when I see a grave of someone so young or a mother and child buried together such a loss).

The following is spooky but may answer the question of "Where does that name come from" ?

I quote from the link below:=

"Loomes" is a variation of the English place name Lumb , from any of the several so-named lcoations in Lancashire and W. Yorkshire, named from Old English lumm = pool > dialectic lum = well for water in a mine. Lum, Loom, Limb, Loombe, Lombe, Loomes are all variations.

http://shop.store.yahoo.com/4crests/surmeanio.html

In a very macabre way that ties in with the story about how he may have died, or am I reading something into it that is not there?

I'm pleased this added to your history, and yes you must visit Otley church soon.

My dear old dad (just turned 80) is building our family history along with my sister’s help, amazing what you can find out.

regards,

Laurie.

It was in another 10 days or so I received a nice email from Mary:

Dear Laurie

Valerie Stevens copied your e-mail to me. I hope that was all right. I discovered her web site last year when I was searching for my Fisk and Denny relatives and made contact with her.

Henry John Fisk and Harriett Euphemia Fisk (nee Denny) were my great

grandparents. I found them living in Otley in the 1881 Census with their three daughters Isabella, Emily and Rhoda. Henry was a miller. Later they had a son Owen and another daughter Olive who was my grandmother.

I have never heard the name Loombe spoken of in the family. I only found reference to his birth and death recently since delving into my family history.

I have no idea where the name came from - I have yet to find a connection with anyone with that surname.

However, there was one possible but vague clue to his existence. My mother remembers my father's elderly aunt Emily (as above) telling her that when she was a little girl she was carrying a baby and dropped it (possibly in water) and that the baby died. I do not know if this was Loombe, but I have not found any other lost siblings in my searches. Emily would have been 4 years old at the time and too young to be responsible but it must have been a memory which she carried with her through life and a great sadness for the family.

I am very glad that little Loombe's grave has not been forgotten.

Thank you for the pictures and for adopting the grave.

Best wishes from

Mary Selvaer

from Eythorne near Dover

Its amazing how easy it is to find information about almost anything these days by using the Internet to search, “how small the world has become” and how easy it is to almost reach out and touch someone of whom you never knew or may never have known had it not have been for something as simple as a 122 year old gravestone.

Such a shame all those forgotten graves that have sat there for hundreds of years through all seasons, quiet and still just letting the years flow across their stone faces.

How nice it would be to start an “Adopt A Grave” scheme where individuals (maybe even local school children) could adopt one grave from the churchyard and investigate its history, and just occasionally visit, and free these proud monuments to the past, from the grasp of the weeds and grass.

 

Laurie Baker. July 2003
(with thanks to dad [Ray Baker] for proof reading and grammatical checks, also Valerie & Mary for allowing me to publish their emails)